Managing behaviour in schools

Key things to remember in the moment:  

Safety should always be your first priority. Make sure that the pupil(s) involved, any other children and young people, yourself, and your colleagues are safe. Follow the guidelines or procedures set out by your school or learning centre.  

Try your best to remain calm to avoid the situation escalating. Remember, if someone is in a heightened state, they first need to calm down before they can reflect on their actions. Support the child to self-regulate by being patient and approachable. Think about your tone of voice and non-verbal communication as well as the language you are using. Consider moving to a different space, offering fidget toys, or using mindfulness or other calming techniques.  

Don’t be afraid to seek support from your colleagues. A second set of eyes, a quick word of advice, or help from someone with a good relationship and understanding of the pupil and their needs can really help.   

There are some immediate actions that can be taken to help everyone involved in a difficult incident re-centre, regulate and identify the way forward.   

Resolutions can’t be found if a child is still feeling angry, upset, or frustrated. Make sure they have the space and time they need before trying to move towards solutions or further action.   

Help the child to move towards a calmer emotional state by offering space, strategies or resources to help them self-regulate. This might include spending some time in a sensory or quiet space, using fidget toys, or asking questions to help them to reflect on how they are feeling. Offer options and allow them to choose.  

Acknowledge the child’s feelings and experience of what happened. Remember, all behaviour is communication – listen to their understanding of the situation and what feelings or thoughts may be behind their actions without judgement. Creating space for the child to be heard shows you are trying to help and can help you to better understand how they need to be supported in the future. Ask for their thoughts and ideas about what they think might help – what would help them return to class today? What support might help avoid this behaviour happening again? Show the child that together, you will find a way forward.  

Finally, you should contact the child’s parents or carers to let them know what happened. Keeping families informed allows you to draw from their expertise of their child – ask for their understanding of why this might have happened and what might help. Arrange a meeting to discuss things further.  

It is important to understand what actions, environments, languages or events triggered the incident. This can help to build a better understanding of the child and their needs. It may also be helpful to remember that sometimes the trigger points are before arriving in school.  

Arrange a meeting with the child’s parents or carers as well as any other professionals involved in supporting the child – e.g. the person responsible for additional support for learning, senior school staff.  Reflect on the incident and discuss what should happen next. Remember to include the child’s views – whether they attend the meeting or share their thoughts through an adult, in writing or any other way appropriate for them.   

Identify what will be different moving forward. What is going to change and who is responsible? Changes may be small – altering language use or changing a seating chart. Other times, it may be that new strategies, further staff training, or advice from others is needed. Make sure everyone, including the child, is on the same page about what will happen next, and make sure that plans and procedures are updated to reflect this.  

At the centre of everything is a child who needs to feel safe and supported. Incidents can impact relationships, so it’s important to create opportunities to re-establish your relationship and rebuild trust. Show the child that you want to move on from what happened towards more positive experiences together in the future by leaving the incident in the past.   

Once new strategies or supports are agreed, start putting them into practice. It may take time for you and the child to adjust, but practice makes perfect. Support them to recognise and engage with the changes, and show them how you can work together to move forward. 

It will be important to ensure there are the right actions and supports in place to avoid a repeat incident.  

Maintaining consistent, predictable routines and supports helps children to feel safe and supported. Set clear expectations to help children understand what is expected of them and make it clear how they can access support.  

Support planning should be regularly reviewed, to make sure it is still in the best interests of the child. Checking in with the child and their family can help to spot any issues arising and maintain a positive relationship of trust. This might mean formal meetings, but could also be a quick phone call, or a cuppa and a catch-up.   

Sometimes, other professionals are needed to help meet a child’s needs. The support available through services such as CAMHS, educational psychology or social work can be invaluable to the child, their family, and the school. Always seek the support of external services as well as your colleagues when needed.